“I disagree with those who say ‘you can really have it all’ when it comes to relationships,” she said.
“There’ll always be a catch,” insisted another woman in our circle.
And then left unspoken but loud as a bell, “So is what I want even worth trying for if it’s impossible to have?”
My answer:
YES there will always be ‘challenge’ in relationships.
YES there will always be ‘a catch’…or two…three, but at least one big one.
And HELL YES healthy intimate relationships are still worth it – BECAUSE OF, not despite of all of that
You see, what often challenges us in relationships is stuff within us that wants to be seen and healed.
Stuff that only comes forward when we're dating or in an intimate relationship.
And so love, or even the promise of love, offers us a unique opportunity to see what wants to be seen. And to learn and grow from it so that we ultimately become more of who we truly are.
Love demands we turn towards the tough stuff and get real with it.
When you do, you often get to know parts of yourself that you've not seen before.
And practice important stuff like defining and keeping boundaries, asking for what you want and receiving what you need, learning to be more vulnerable with another and creating the safety and space for them to do the same.
And if you work with the challenges, the catch skilfully, with great awareness, and sometimes with external support (yep, from coaches like me) you’ll end up feeling more fully YOU, more whole and complete.
THIS I believe, is where ‘wholeness’ in relationships comes from.
It's less (if at all) about the other person ‘completing you’, and much more about the other person helping you to see and become more of who you truly are as you are with the things surface between you.
And this sense of true wholeness can not be taken away, no matter what happens in love.
You are always 100% you. <3
PS. If you’re thinking to yourself, ‘Sounds great but what exactly do I do when I feel ‘the challenge’ in dating and relationships’, the answer is to develop the self-awareness, practical skills and tools necessary to navigate ‘the catch’’ when it shows up.
And I’m here to help with this.
Whether you are single and dating or in a long-term relationship, one-to-one coaching with me is a way for you to gain all of the wisdom and guidance you'll need to find, keep and thrive in the kind of love you want.
Message me and let’s talk about getting you the love you want.