If you want to have good sex – to give pleasure and receive it – you need to communicate both your own wants, needs, and desires to your partner, and to ask them what works for them as well.
The myth that someone should just be able to ‘feel into you’ and if they can hit all your spots, they must be ‘the right one’ needs to die.
When a couple asks me to be their celebrant, it is because the act of them coming together means something more than the legalities, formalities and materiality of the world we live in. And that ‘something more’ gets to be determined by them. It is the space that we get to dance in and explore together.
As a s*x coach, I learned the immense value of pleasure and of listening to my body’s own wisdom; and as an expert in relationships, the power of deep connection, vulnerability and clear communication. The new approach to leadership that values open conversations, shared decision-making power, the prioritisation of self-care and of creating spaces where everyone feels empowered to contribute, so right to me.
It's leadership with relational intelligence - building consensus, reading between the lines, and making others feel truly heard.
Marking the turn into mid-life for me is only just taking shape and form. Rituals for moving through the different seasons of life are with us no longer. And yet they would serve us well. As they help us to let go of the safety of where we have been – and have outgrown. And prepare for and leverage the opportunities of the new space we’re moving into.
What truly matters in determining the happiness and resilience of a relationship is not that we never disagree, or mess up in ways that cause us to lose connection. It’s this…
Photo by Courtney Clayton on Unsplash
