When it comes to accessing your pleasure, all it takes is a shedding. A shedding of that which blocks you from feeling pleasure fully – or at all.

Over the years, battle with the world, past relationships, rejections, sexual confusion, negative messaging from society and culture around sex and our sexiness is collected in our bodies.

We build up a kind of protective shield like body armour to batten up our defences – and to stop us from feeling the yuck of all of that.

Problem is, it also closes us off to the good stuff – the nuanced experience of exquisite sensuality – and from the experience of orgasm.

So we end up feeling nothing at all in sex (with ourselves or with others).

Or intense physical pain and discomfort during sex – exactly the opposite of what we hope to experience!

Good news is, you can learn to unlock your body and shed the armour you’ve built up. Peel off the layers. Feel sensations of pleasure and connection with ourselves and our partners.

Here are 3 ways to start the process of de-armouring your body:

Breathe

Breathe into the parts of you that are stuck or numb or in pain. Imagine that the breath softens these places in you, relaxes them, and that you are breathing in space into your body.

Sound

Give voice to whatever you are feeling. Allow whatever sounds that want to emerge to come out. With no judgement on what or how it’s sounding. It’s all welcome.

Safety + Love

Reinforce a sense of safety and love in your body by reminding yourself that you are in fact safe (as long as this is true and you are physically and emotionally in a safe place.

Remind yourself that it is safe to feel. Safe to cry. Safe to be vulnerable. Safe to express whatever is there even if it doesn’t look or feel nice.

And love yourself for going there.

Feel into your heart as you repeat to yourself – You are safe. You are loved. I love you.

Remember that this is a journey that takes time. Every body is different. Every timeline is different.

Know that whatever you experience, wherever you are with this, is exactly right.

You are perfect.