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Join me as I share a body-based movement practice to help listeners shift from feeling stuck to experiencing flow, particularly in the realm of sex and intimacy.
Inspired by life and leadership coach Tania Carriere, the practice involves recalling the feeling of stuckness, noticing the associated emotions and bodily sensations, and allowing the body to adopt a shape reflecting that stuckness.
Through deepening into this shape and then slowly unravelling, listeners can release tension and move towards a state of flow and ultimately pleasure.
Andrea guides listeners through the practice, encouraging them to reflect on their experience and connect with her for additional support if needed.
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Meet your host:
Andrea Balboni
Andrea is a certified Sex, Love and Relationships Coach at Lush Coaching.
Her mission is to help people experience as much pleasure and fulfillment in their personal intimate lives as they desire.
Want even more? Read these articles we co-authored on Medium about Stuckness and Sex:
How to fix a stuck sex life (Pt 1 of 3)
Let’s continue the conversation
Practice : From Stuckness to Flow in Sex
Andrea: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to Lush Love, the podcast. I'm your host, Andrea Balboni. And in this podcast, I explore the nuance and complexity of intimate relationships with thought leaders, teachers, and guides of all kinds so that we can navigate through the intensity of intimacy, the highs and lows of love, the joy and pain of desire, the promises and despair of relationships more easily.
And allow ourselves to be nourished by deep, meaningful connection, passion, and pleasure in all its forms.
In the last episode, I spoke with Dr. Julia Kukard, an expert on stuckness, on what to do if you're stuck in [00:01:00] sex. And we determined that one of the best ways to get unstuck was to talk about it. But if you're not ready to have that conversation, Then I wanted to share with you another way to begin to move from stuckness and into flow.
This body based movement practice, I learned from Tania Carriere, who is a life and leadership coach. Tania hosts retreats in beautiful places, and I met her in the south of France at a time in my life when I was really, really feeling stuck. Tania taught me how to access the gateway of my body as a way to move from stuckness and back into flow.
And this is the practice that I'm going to share with you here now. If you'd like to learn more about Tania, you can find the link to her in the show notes. And in the meantime, enjoy the practice.
You can begin [00:02:00] this practice by finding an open space, large enough to stretch out into. when fully standing or lying down. This could be your bedroom or any other living area or a wide space in nature, somewhere where you have complete privacy and won't be disturbed.
And you can do this practice seated or standing, and you can do it as many times as you wish.
So you're going to start by calling to mind the thing that you feel stuck with. This could be your relationship or your dating life, the sex that you're having or not having, or any other thing that you feel stuck with. [00:03:00]
If you feel comfortable enough, you can lower your gaze. And close your eyes so that you really drop in. And as you recall the thing that you're stuck on, let yourself really feel it. Notice any emotions that rise up around the stuckness. Maybe there's frustration or anger. Sadness or even a numbness, like a tuning out.
And you're going to begin by naming each emotion as you notice it. And you can do that now. [00:04:00]
And next you're going to shift your attention to your body and notice how it's responding. Maybe it tightens around the thoughts about being stuck. Maybe it contracts along with the feelings that come with being stuck. The stuckness. Maybe you feel the tightness in your belly, or your hands begin to clench, or your throat closes, or perhaps you just numb out completely.
So beginning to notice the sensations in your body, and naming those as well. [00:05:00]
So it would be something like, I feel a tightness in my belly, My throat is constricting. I'm feeling agitated and jumpy.
And next you're going to let your body begin to take the shape of the stuckness. Notice how it wants to move. So if you're standing, you might begin to crouch down or lower yourself towards the ground. If you're sitting, you might roll into a ball. [00:06:00] Tighter and tighter. Your arms might wrap themselves around you or begin to take awkward shapes.
So there's no right or wrong way to do this. You're going to let your body be your guide.
And as you notice the shape that your body takes, that reflects the stuckness that you're feeling, You're going to drop into the sensations, the emotions, and the shape of stuckness just a little bit more. So if you balled up, you're going to ball up a little [00:07:00] tighter. If your fists are clenched, you're going to clench them a little bit further.
Or even if there's just numbness, allowing yourself to dull down and tune out even more.
And as you do this, noticing how this all feels in your body, how it feels to be super stuck. It may be quite familiar and uncomfortable, but just staying here for one more moment.
And then very slowly, you're going to begin to let your body do the opposite. So, without forcing or pushing, you're Beginning to let your body unravel. [00:08:00]
Noticing if parts of you begin to relax and let go, and to encourage a shift, you can breathe into the places that feel super stuck, and on the exhale, release and let go.
So breathing in again to the places that feel extra stuck, without forcing or pushing, on the exhale, release and let go.
Doing this time and again, encouraging your body to unravel from stuckness. [00:09:00]
If you find your mind wandering or questioning what you're doing, gently bring your focus back. It's back to your body and the physical sensations that you're experiencing with no judgment or questioning and just noticing and returning to the here and now.
If you want, you can encourage your body to feel and let go by reminding it that it's okay to let go. It's safe to unwind, [00:10:00] it's safe to release,
and as your body changes shape and form, feeling it melt like water to vapor,
feeling it melting like ice to water, water to vapor,
and with each gentle movement and unravelling, each breath, you get lighter and lighter. Lighter and more fluid as the unravelling occurs. [00:11:00]
And noticing the shape that your body has taken now
without having to have it mean anything or be anything more than simply noticing the sensations, any emotions, any thoughts. If where you were holding there is now more space, or if there's still some tension to release that wants to go.
Sometimes allowing ourselves to feel flow, to feel the opposite of stuckness in our bodies, to let [00:12:00] ourselves unravel at this very basic level of the body is enough to begin to shift things for us. And ultimately, being in flow can become a choice. If we allow ourselves to feel and experience everything that's getting in the way of it, and invite it to be noticed and released, like we've begun to do in this simple exercise.
So you can take a few minutes now to write down any thoughts or feelings you have about what you've experienced, any insights, any wisdom that wants to come forward. [00:13:00]
And this practice is now complete.
Thank you for listening. Share this podcast with anyone you feel would benefit from its message. If you love what you heard, rate and review us wherever you listen. And if you feel that you could use some support, connect with me, Andrea Balboni, through my website, lushcoaching.com. That's L U S H C O A C H I N G dot com.
Special thanks to Nicholas Singer for the musical score, and Dion Knight for editing and production.