Note: This series was originally created as a Masterclass for The Times and Sunday Times Life Lessons Festival in London, UK 2022.

Why are intimate relationships so intense?

Why is love so hard to find?

And once found so hard to keep?

And once kept so hard to survive, never mind thrive in?

From the disappointment of endless dating and constant swiping, to the destabilizing precariousness of early stage relationships, to the imminent frustration and tedious boredom of long term love.  

We might begin to ask ourselves if intimate relationships are even worth it.

And then we remember what they promise.

If we could meet real love in a way that feels natural and easy, love that gives a sense of trust, safety and security in a challenging and ever changing world.

If we could feel the nourishment of deep, meaningful connection, and the richness and excitement of learning and growing together.

If we could experience the deliciousness of passion and the sparkle of erotic desire that adds so much aliveness and dimension to life

Then yes, we would answer that relationships are absolutely worth it.  

But all of that is no small ask.

In part 1 of Surviving Intimacy, we explore what it is that keeps us from finding love.

I share a story on how I broke through the walls around my heart. And eventually found love after more than 15 years of being single.

And you’ll be left with some questions that will prompt you to think differently about what might be keeping you from finding the love that you want.

If you love what you hear, please leave us a rating and review on iTunes/Apple Podcasts.

In each of the 3 parts of this series we’ll consider…

PT 1: FINDING LOVE

- What it takes to find love on or offline.

- How to meet your person in a way that feels natural and easy

- Dissolving the things from the past that keep us from meeting our person.

PT 2: KEEPING LOVE

- The delicate dance of closeness and distance in intimate relationships

- Preparing your body, heart, mind and soul for long-term love

- What ‘healthy’ looks like in intimate relationships

PT 3: THRIVING IN LOVE LONG-TERM

- The skills and tools needed to make love and passion last over time

- How self-awareness and self-knowing allow for healthy adult relating

- And how to attain the awareness, skills and tools that long-term love asks for

Book in a 30 minute consultation call with Andrea and find love that lasts.

About Andrea:

Andrea Balboni is a certified Sex Love and Relationship Coach and founder of Lush Coaching. She helps smart successful heart-centered humans experience pleasure and fulfillment in their personal intimate lives and romantic relationships. From finding real love naturally and easily, to keeping it and deepening into healthy relationships, to thriving in passion and pleasure over the long-term, Andrea supports individuals and couples in all phases of love and relationships.

Find love with Andrea:

Roadmap to Relationships

A group coaching experience for women on finding love and keeping it

Enrolment is open now.

One-to-one Private Coaching

A limited number of spots are open. DM/email me to learn more and sign up.

andrea.lush.coach@gmail.com

Online Masterclass: Find, Keep and Thrive in Love

Learn to find real love and have a committed, long-term relationship. Tickets available on Eventbrite

Receive weekly Love Letters

https://www.lushcoaching.com/free

Work with me

Book in a 30 minute consultation call with Andrea

Let’s stay connected

Continue the conversation on Instagram at @andreabalboni_lush

Show us the love

And if you love the show, please leave us a rating and review on iTunes/Apple Podcasts.

Ep. 9 Surviving Intimacy : Part 1 – Finding Love

Welcome to lush. Love the podcast in this three part series on surviving intimacy. I'm your host, Andrea Balboni a sex love and relationships coach for anyone who wants to find, keep and thrive in love.

this is part one on finding love. In this episode, I'll share with you a very personal story. On what it took for me to finally find love after being single for nearly 15 years.

I'll leave you with some questions to ponder and I'll invite you to explore ways to move forward so that you too can find the love that you want. .

It was a soft, warm summer's. Outside lightning bugs lit up the cool dark air and a punctuated rhythm. I was standing in the Oak lined hallway of an elegant manner house. Deep in the English countryside lights were out nervous, giggles, sprinkled the space between us with their sweet sound. We were a small group of women, about 12 in total.

lace sometimes black, sometimes red and cheer, silks, and chiffon graced, otherwise naked bodies. As I looked around me, I thought how refreshing it was to see such a wide variety of shapes and forms. There was space for me in the difference I was dressed in a black lace Bodi. With a dramatic V cut down the front, small chains, sparkling rhinestones held it and me together, but just barely.

I'd never owned anything like this in my life, never mind what I was about to do in it. It had taken me months to get at the nerve to push through the heavy doors of the lingerie shop. It was the most expensive one on the high. I couldn't fathom anything less ensure I'd own a few pairs of matching lingerie sets in my life, but I'd never dared tried on anything else.

In my mind, only certain types of women wore what I had on now. And I definitely was not one of them. There was judgment and criticism and that thought, and also a kind of yearning. Mixed with envy and some curiosity. And so now standing there with a group of similarly dressed women shivering in my lace.

I wondered why, why had I signed up for this? Was this really going to help me to find love and was what I was about to do even. Okay. I'd managed to cultivate incredible friendships throughout my life. Pretty much effortlessly. So why was this finding love so difficult? The music came on and the lights dimmed and trembling like a leaf in the night.

I stepped onto the stage.

Intimate relationships are unique and that they contain an intensity, like no other in this kind of intimacy. We open all of ourselves to another. We open our hearts, our minds, and also our bodies and the mystery of the erotic that lies there. we allow more of ourselves to be seen. And often by only a select few, we hope that when seen fully that will be desired.

And when we aren't, it's devastating, our sexuality is one of the deepest, most sacred. Beautiful and natural parts of us. And yet, rather than learn how to protect this part of ourselves through safe boundaries around sex, we're taught to fear it completely, rather than talk openly about it. We learn that the subject is tab boo, and rather than celebrate the nourishment of healthy pleasure, we judge criticize and shame those who embody it easily and natural.

and then we carry the same shame, guilt and fear within us. That same shame, guilt and fear had created a high wall around me and yes, behind it, I was safe yet. It also kept me far away from the love and intimacy that I deeply desired. I didn't realize any of this though, as I shivered in my lace that warm summers night poised to perform my first ever stripped tease at the toter of retreat, I was on looking back on it.

Now that evening marked the beginning of a journey deep into me, a journey of trust in myself, a journey of knowing my body, a journey of letting go of the past and of stepping into the beauty of the essential and the erotic within. so that I could be seen in all ways by the people I was attracted to and to let love in

do shame, guilt, and fear around your sexuality. Hold you back from love. Here are some questions for you to journal on or simply to consider as you listen. What old learned beliefs around intimacy and sex, no longer serve you. What new beliefs might you replace those with? And if you could write your new truth around relationships, sex, and intimacy to reflect those new beliefs, what might that truth sound?

in roadmap to relationships, a group coaching program for single women on how to find, keep and thrive in love. We'll be answering these and other questions around relationships and intimacy enrollment is now open and I invite you in. If you are a woman who's looking for love. You can find information on roadmap on my website at lush coaching.com/relationship-roadmap.

There's a link in the show notes.

If you'd prefer to work with me privately, then there are a limited number of one to one coaching spaces, open for single people. And for couple. you can message me at Andrea lush, coaching.com. And we'll talk about how I can support you to create the love and the pleasure that you want in your life.

I invite you to listen to part two of this three part series on how to keep love coming up next.