In part 2 of Surviving Intimacy, we explore what it takes to keep love steady, especially in the early phases of relationship when we’re getting to know someone new.

I share a story about how one woman overcame her fear of intimacy and begin to date with confidence and joy – yes, even joy! – for the first time in her life.

And you’ll be left with some questions to sit with about what it is that would keep you, in love.

Note: This series was originally created as a Masterclass for The Times and Sunday Times Life Lessons Festival in London, UK 2022.

Why are intimate relationships so intense?

Why is love so hard to find?

And once found so hard to keep?

And once kept so hard to survive, never mind thrive in?

From the disappointment of endless dating and constant swiping, to the destabilizing precariousness of early stage relationships, to the imminent frustration and tedious boredom of long term love.  

We might begin to ask ourselves if intimate relationships are even worth it.

And then we remember what they promise.

If we could meet real love in a way that feels natural and easy, love that gives a sense of trust, safety and security in a challenging and ever changing world.

If we could feel the nourishment of deep, meaningful connection, and the richness and excitement of learning and growing together.

If we could experience the deliciousness of passion and the sparkle of erotic desire that adds so much aliveness and dimension to life

Then yes, we would answer that relationships are absolutely worth it.  

But all of that is no small ask.

If you love what you hear, please leave us a rating and review on iTunes/Apple Podcasts.

In each of the 3 parts of this series we’ll consider…

PT 1: FINDING LOVE

- What it takes to find love on or offline.

- How to meet your person in a way that feels natural and easy

- Dissolving the things from the past that keep us from meeting our person.

PT 2: KEEPING LOVE

- The delicate dance of closeness and distance in intimate relationships

- Preparing your body, heart, mind and soul for long-term love

- What ‘healthy’ looks like in intimate relationships

PT 3: THRIVING IN LOVE LONG-TERM

- The skills and tools needed to make love and passion last over time

- How self-awareness and self-knowing allow for healthy adult relating

- And how to attain the awareness, skills and tools that long-term love asks for

Book in a 30 minute consultation call with Andrea and find love that lasts.

About Andrea:

Andrea Balboni is a certified Sex Love and Relationship Coach and founder of Lush Coaching. She helps smart successful heart-centered humans experience pleasure and fulfillment in their personal intimate lives and romantic relationships. From finding real love naturally and easily, to keeping it and deepening into healthy relationships, to thriving in passion and pleasure over the long-term, Andrea supports individuals and couples in all phases of love and relationships.

Find love with Andrea:

Roadmap to Relationships

A group coaching experience for women on finding love and keeping it

Enrolment is open now.

One-to-one Private Coaching

A limited number of spots are open. DM/email me to learn more and sign up.

andrea.lush.coach@gmail.com

Online Masterclass: Find, Keep and Thrive in Love

Learn to find real love and have a committed, long-term relationship. Tickets available on Eventbrite

Receive weekly Love Letters

https://www.lushcoaching.com/free

Work with me

Book in a 30 minute consultation call with Andrea

Let’s stay connected

Continue the conversation on Instagram at @andreabalboni_lush

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And if you love the show, please leave us a rating and review on iTunes/Apple Podcasts.

Ep. 10 Surviving Intimacy : Part 2 – Keeping Love

Welcome to the lush love podcast. In part two of this three part series on surviving intimacy, how to find, keep, and thrive and love that lasts. I'm your host, Andrea Balboni. I'm a sex love and relationship coach and founder of lush. I help smart soulful heart centered humans, experience pleasure and fulfillment in relationships and intimacy from finding real love naturally and easily to keeping it and deepening into a healthy relationship to thriving and passion and pleasure.

Over the long term, I support individuals and couples in all phases of love. I leverage the full range of human experience. From body to heart from mind to soul to move you swiftly and powerfully towards healthy relating, and deep personal fulfillment. In part one, I finding love. I shared a story about how shame, guilt and fear around my sexuality and the erotic were keeping me from the love that I wanted in my.

listen to part one to hear how one evening under the thin veil of lace and silks. My life changed radically after that evening, as I became more and more comfortable in my body and in my own unique expression of the erotic, the walls around my heart softened. And eventually I met love. I'd made a vow to myself that if I could work out how to have an exceptional relationship and find the kind of love I wanted, that I'd help others do the same.

And so I left my 20 year career in tech to become a sex love and relationships coach, and began to share with others. What I'd learned about finding love and keeping it that is when Anna found. When I met Anna, her wide warm smile won me over instantly. She was easily likable. She told me about how she loved her job as a marketing manager, that she had great friends in a wonderful life.

But for one thing, she'd never known love. and she'd done everything to find it from online, dating to speed dating, to blind dating. She'd been on every app that you could think of. She'd even done years of therapy, but nothing worked. I was her last call when I asked Anna what she wanted in a relationship, she told me, you know, probably the usual stuff she said, like everyone else.

Someone to come home to and tell stories about the day someone to have fun with and go on dates with, you know, the small things. I also want the big stuff too, like to plan a future together, to have kids, maybe get a house, you know what everyone wants. But as Anna describes this to me, I felt a disconnect with what she was saying and what she truly wanted.

And so I asked her to tell me more. , you know, she shares, I just feel like I've not had the full experience of being human. I mean, I know relationships, aren't easy. I see how my friends struggle with kids and breaking up and getting together. And I just, I know it's not perfect, but it's an experience that I really want.

I totally get it whilst we all experience relationships of one kind or another in. The experience of intimate partnership is indeed unique. And Anna knows this. I ask her to share what more she might experience in life. If she had love in it while I've always wanted to skip work and drive off to the seaside with someone together, you know, I've never done that.

It sounds fun. I. And I ask Anna to imagine that day on the beach. I want her to really feel it in her body on a visceral level,

Anna takes a deep breath, lowers her gaze and eventually her eyes close as she begins to describe what it would be like to have that day on the beach. She tells me that she can feel the sand warm beneath her feet, the grains tickle her toes, that she can taste the salt and the sea air and feel the sun on her skin.

She hears the sound of children splashing in the shore, close by I, and she can sense that her partner is there with them, even though she can't see him clearly. I turn towards Anna and watches, the tears stream down her face. She shares with me that she's never actually felt what this day would be like to know the feeling of being that close to someone and the lightness, the joy and the purity of feeling that she'd experience as a result, and to know deep down.

That that possibility were a reality. That is until now. And this was Anna's first powerful step towards love because when your body begins to understand that you can have what you want and that you'll survive it, a shift happens a kind of movement forward towards what it is that you truly.

at the same time, the fears that hold us back surface as well. And Dana shares with me, her hesitation. It's just that I'm afraid this might all just mess up the life I've created for myself. I've got such a beautiful balance and it's taken me years to create this. In fact, Anna's fear was understandable because her life would.

As she shifted from living solely in the space of I, to the space of, we she'd have to learn to navigate that change. And this was something that she just wasn't prepared for because Anna, like all of us belongs to a world where we are not taught the skills or tools needed to do intimate relationships.

One of the most complicated things of. she belongs to a world where she's not likely to have seen or experienced the kind of relationship she wants in her family growing up, because let's face it. This kind of relationship rarely exists. Doesn't it. And in the professional world where competition and power over is valued over cooperation and power with.

Power with being the key ingredient to togetherness. Anna will simply not have the awareness skills or tools needed to do we a life of togetherness. So what can one do in this situation for whilst it's important for us to forge our own unique identities and retain our sense of me? We must also learn how to do we to keep the love we find and to thrive in it.

I'm going to say that again, whilst it's important for us to forge our own unique identities and retain our sense of me and intimacy, we must also learn how to do we skillfully. If we want to keep the love we find and to truly thrive in. Some of us struggle with too much closeness and intimate relationships.

And we feel suffocated are me dissolved by we, as I suspected Anite and others of us with too much distance, we feel alone. That sense of we lost the delicate dance that we do with one another is to find the right balance of closeness and of distance. A space where we are connected yet distinct. And in this space lies the possibility to see ourselves one another and the world in whole new ways.

And this is what excites and inspires us. It is a space where we can truly thrive. It's a space that's unique to intimate relationships.

over the course of our time together. Anna learned how to dance in this space between me and we. She owned her voice. She asked for what she needed and wanted, and then stepped back, allowing potential partners to step up. She began to shine. Doors were open for her heads, turned on the street and she received it all with grace and ease.

She had begun to do we well. And for the first time in her life, she felt desired

questions for you to move through. How much closeness do you need in a relationship and how much distance, what does your partner or potential partner need and want? can the two of you meet each other and dance together in a way that feels good to you, both

in roadmap to relationships, a group coaching program for single women on how to find, keep, and thrive and love will be answering these questions and more together enrollment four roadmap to relationships is now open. You can find information on the program. And join the course on my website@www.lu coaching.com.

There's a link in the show notes. If you'd prefer to work with me privately, then there are limited number of one to one coaching spaces, open for single people and for couples. email me at Andrea lush, coaching.com or message me on Instagram. And we'll talk about how I can support you to create the love and pleasure that you want.

This is the end of part two, keeping love, listen to part three, thriving in love to learn exactly how to thrive in intimacy over time and to make love last. See you.