I’ve been asked by quite a few people lately, how they can date outside – faaarrr outside – of their geo.
The reasons the people I talked to wanted to look across borders for love included:
Desire for a lifestyle that is more international in nature
And that includes not just travel abroad but the possibility of living in a foreign country
They find the dating pool where they live too small and limited
As a woman who has spent almost half of her life living abroad (and the other half dreaming of it), I got super excited when writing this post.
Below are 6 ways that you can begin to build a bridge from here to there. And perhaps find love along the way.
Start close to home…
Attend ex-pat parties
A (now-married) couple that I know met in Florida at a European ex-pat gathering and now live in Italy together (after experiencing Paris and London). Ok, so they might actually move back to Florida after all of that, but the point is, they met ‘at home.’
I did this tons in my college years because I went to school in the middle of nowhere in Massachusetts (the scent of cow dung often filled the air) and had already at that tender age developed an insatiable desire for ‘otherness’ that ironically felt like home.
Hint: Yes, you can go to expat activities even if you’re not an expat. The couple I mentioned were both Americans born and raised in the US, though now they both hold two passports each.
Do a language exchange
I’ve done this one – in Japan and Italy both. Get back on Meetups.com and search for a language exchange Meetup near you. It’s way better than Duolingo and you’re hitting two birds with one stone. How I love efficiency.
Dating apps – set your location to the place of your choice
Set up some dates for yourself in the country you’re targeting before your next trip there. A friend of mine has road tested this (no pun), and had a great time securing some dates on an exploratory trip to Paris before she moved there for good. She discovered that French guys dig her style, and that the city suits her as well.
And you can always get on the apps when you are en situ to see who’s around.
Get on the road…
Live the lifestyle – Join a community of digital nomads
Get out there. Go to the place that you dream of. And do it with others who share your spirit of adventure – and your work/lifestyle ethic. Join an organisation like Live Beyond – ‘We provide a physical and social environment for remote co-working, co-living and traveling, designed to enhance productivity, well-being and personal growth through experiential learning and behavioral change.’ And immerse yourself with like-minded, like-hearted others.
Get active on holiday – Join the crowd
Running groups, the local tennis leagues, hiking clubs, the opportunities to let the endorphins loose and fuel the flames of desire whilst on holiday abroad abound. Hook up with your group of choice on Meetup, FB, Insta, or ask your AirBnB host or hotel if they know of any they’d recommend you check out.
Volunteer – Support the local community and meet other kind humans
I poached this idea from a friend of mine who is a phenomenal woman in many ways. One of which is that she seeks out volunteer activities in the new communities she embeds herself in as a way to give back and to get to know the local culture and people up front and personal from the inside out.
Now that you’re in the groove, there are a few things to look out for when dating in foreign lands. And ways to get the most out of the experience. More on that in the next post.
In the meantime, enjoy the adventure, ma cherie.