Sitting behind a computer year in and year out, decade in decade out takes its toll on a body.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved my job in technology for many reasons. I felt like a pioneer in the early days of the dot com era in New York City.
And I loved the mental challenge of the work. And the creativity that innovation required – my fellow ‘web designers’ and I were virtually creating things ‘from scratch’ as the internet itself was just newly born.
However my body wasn’t loving it. I felt a palpable shift to city life from a childhood spent outdoors.
In New England the seasons are well defined. And one thing suburban sprawl allowed for was a clear sensual experience of the bite of intense bone-chilling cold in winter, springtime awakening to brightness, technicolor and lightness of the new, a mellowing into sultry sweaty summer days at high-intensity heat to the crisp autumn crunchiness of leaves under feet and once a return to the clip of chill in the air.
20 years of revolving doors, closed office spaces cut me off almost entirely from the rhythm of the seasons. The intense mental focus and ‘toughening up’ to big city life and a corporate career asked for – demanded I felt – a shut down of feeling and flow in my body.
And my innate sensuality.
There were small escapes…swims in a chlorinated blue rectangle when I could find one, hip hop classes where I could move my body in impossible rhythms. Cooking with spices from distant places all available a block or two away. And an occasional train ride to sandy shores.
It was not enough.
I also felt the incredible absence of touch. And the solitude that comes with that.
In my family amongst my siblings we are quite tactile. Perhaps it’s because we’re of the Mediterranean, maybe it’s because my mother encouraged play and closeness amongst us.
I realised just how nourishing and just how much I needed touch only when I no longer had it around.
I work with the body [ guided hands off practices only ] as much as the mind and emotions of the people who come to me for coaching. This is because the body holds so much of the weight of the past.
For me it held on to years and years of shut down and turning off so I could be productive and efficient. And to protect myself from those I was attracted to but also feared – sex was dangerous. There were diseases. Risk of pregnancy. Life ruining consequences. So it was safer to abstain.
And love equally scary. What if I chose the wrong person? What if I broke someone’s heart? What if they hurt me?
Better to stay away.
Working with my body in very specific and informed ways held the key to releasing all of this and a whole bunch of other stuff that was holding me back from fully expressing myself – and thus from finding love.
I continue to work with body-based practices in my coaching practice because it doesn’t tell stories.
The mind LOVES stories. And you can get lost in them, talking it out..or rather around it all... sometimes for years.
And after all of the talking, still stuck.
Change is more than a verbal process.
You might be easily aware of your emotions, thoughts, and behaviours on a surface level, and may even experience insight into them.
But it’s when you feel all of this in your body on a very deep level, that you can work with it directly, release it swiftly, and experience freedom from whatever it is that is blocking you from the life you want to live.
And the love that is meant for you.
Don’t get me wrong, accessing the power of the mind is important. It’s critical that body, mind and emotions (or heart) are all activated and in sync.
And that’s just the thing. ALL PARTS OF US need to be in sync in order for us to truly make progress and move forward. Into feeling, behaving and thinking differently so that we get different results in life. In dating. In relationships. In intimacy. AND in sex.
It’s all there.
Releasing the blockers, body mind and soul is key to being able to show up on dates, in relationship, and in life as your fullest most authentic self. And be loved for it.
It also allows space for you to access the wisdom that you hold within. And that is easily accessed through the body as well.
If you’ve already done lots of self-development work and have talked it out…
And perhaps have also tried some reiki, meditation, yoga, mindfulness, breathwork, shamanic healing, plant medicines, you name it…
Just like I did.
Here’s the yurt in Peru where I first experienced ayahuasca – powerful medicine!
And you’re still stuck.
Then body-based therapeutic catalytic coaching with me might be right for you.
“I’ve changed. I know how to deal with my emotions better. I allow myself to feel. As a man I’ve not felt I can feel anger, jealousy or sadness for instance. With Andrea I’ve learned how to feel strong emotions so that
It’s a different sort of coaching and it’s opened my eyes to new ways of being. I’ve had access to practices and exercises that are not readily available in the world.
It’s completely different from anything that I’ve already done.
I’ve gotten clarity on how to access what I want in my relationship. And it’s paying dividends.
Communication is more open and my relationship is stronger. I have the tools I need to have that.”
“It has been a week of releasing years of being in fight or flight mode.
I have slowed in body and breath, checking in when I am tense and holding belly, jaw, breath and releasing it.
I have been ruled by this underlying trauma all these years. The work we are doing is flushing it out.
Just by the simple act of creating space for my pleasure and being supported by you in it, a huge chasm of shame has disappeared, replaced with a sense of love and the deep knowing that my pleasure is within my own grasp and no one else’s.
I recognized the reason for the reaching for and grasping from others I have done so much if in my past relationship on SO many levels. I was overlooking that the depth of my power lies right here, in me.
”
“Never once before in my 60 years had the concept been shared with me that my male body and my sexuality held deep, powerful, trustworthy sacred wisdom. Certainly not believably. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Since our work together, I trust instead, or at least certainly far more than ever before, my own deepest truth, sense and vision.”