Some of the most profound tools for connection in intimacy are the most simple.
This practice takes about 15 minutes and radically brings you closer together when done with an intention to:
be fully present with one another
open up to whatever comes up
and to connect deeply in love
Preparation
Be seated comfortably across from your partner, about half a meter / 1 foot apart.
Spend about 2 minutes on each step below. Set a timer on your phone to keep track.
Step 1: Face
Start by softly focusing on and taking in your partner’s face.
Notice all of the details of their face as if studying it for the very first time: the shape of every part of their face, the colors, the texture.
Step 2: Emotional body
Now look or feel into them a little bit deeper. Notice the emotions they are experiencing.
Gaze into their eyes and moment-to-moment notice the emotions that you feel inside of your partner.
The ones that they are actively feeling right now in this moment. And the ones they carry as a kind of emotional signature.
What response does this evoke in you and in your body?
Continue to notice what your partner is experiencing even as you stay present with your own experience.
Breathe.
Step 3: Mind
Next feel into the mind of your partner.
Notice what their thoughts might be. And the quality of their thoughts.
Both the ones that they are actively feeling right now. And their regular state of their mind.
Notice whatever it is that you feel as you do this. And stay connected to your own body at the same time.
Keep breathing.
Step 4: Energy
Next feel the energy of your partner.
What qualities can you perceive in them?
Notice how these may change and shift moment-by-moment as you track them.
How does your own body feel as it registers this information?
Step 5: Soul
Feel your partner’s soul. And create the intention to let your own self be seen.
See your partner and let yourself be seen.
What is there in your partner’s soul that you notice? What do you have access to?
Keep breathing.
Step 6: Spirit
Feel the spirit of your partner, the piece that connects the two of you so deeply.
It may be a quality that feels indescribable. A part of you – and of them – that is deep inside.
Let this part of you be seen fully. And see in your partner the deep nature of their spirit.
Even here stay connected to your body. Experience an embodied sense of spirit. It is what makes us human. And divine at the same time.
Sharing:
This practice can be very vulnerable for you and your partner. Take this into consideration as you share.
Take turns sharing:
What did you see?
What did you feel?
What did you notice?
Remember to share what you noticed looking:
at their face
at their emotional body
their mental space
their energy
the qualities of their soul and
feeling their spirit
Thank each other and move into lovemaking if that feels right.
This practice is inspired by the work of Layla Martin