Make pre-date preparations feel luxurious by indulging in the luscious sips I’ve selected here.
Date with joy, ease and fun - and feel sexy
If you want to have good sex – to give pleasure and receive it – you need to communicate both your own wants, needs, and desires to your partner, and to ask them what works for them as well.
The myth that someone should just be able to ‘feel into you’ and if they can hit all your spots, they must be ‘the right one’ needs to die.
Even the most healthy of relationships experience ups and downs throughout their evolution.
What makes the difference between relationships that ‘make it’ and last over time, has everything to do with how the 2 (or more) people in the relationship relate – not only to the other person, but also to themselves.
As you learn to become more aware of your own internal world and learn how to navigate it, you develop a better chance at creating and staying in a relationship that will feel amazing to experience – despite the challenges that arise.
Bad s*x. Been there. Done that.
We pretty much all have.
Sue Sutherland of the Feel Institute talks to us about how to have GREAT s*x.
And she shares with us a simple game we can play with the people we are with so that we can have the experiences that we really want.
Sneak peak into the wisdom:
1. Know what you want – listen to that body of yours
2. Ask for it – be brave + bold!
3. Love yourself for doing so.
❤
One (of the admittedly many) reasons why sex can end up being bad
Even with those that we love having sex with
Is when we say yes to doing something that we actually don’t want to do!
We consent.
Simply stated CONSENT = CHOICE
We choose to say YES to a touch or a closeness or something more
When all our body really wanted was for us to
Shout out an emphatic NO
Or a gentle firm NO
Or any NO at all.
Let’s just admit it: speaking up around sex, especially in intimate moments with someone new…or even someone you’ve been with for a very long time…
Can feel extremely scary. And weird.
We don’t want to kill a moment. Or offend someone.
Or seem inexperienced. Or awkward.
And yet, when you learn how to talk about what you want
Or don’t want in any moment
The chances of having bad sex every again diminish completely.
And the path to good sex
To amazzzzzing sex
Opens wide.
How to have better sex: connection + consent with Nichi Hodgson
I want you to jump from two feet into the bedroom, when you feel finally ready to be intimate with a certain someone you might have just started dating.
And not only that, I want you to have the best sex possible when you do.
And so, I wanted to break out this bit of a conversation from a video I had posted a few weeks back with Nichi Hodgson, journalist on all things sexy for the likes of the Guardian and Sky News that will help you to do so.You see, consent is key to connection. And connection is the key to great sex. Especially if you are new to dating someone.
WHEN ARE YOU ASKING FOR TOO MUCH FROM SOMEONE IN ❤
**Core values are fundamental
Don't let them slide! Rather, soften around them.
To determine what your core values in relationship are ask yourself:
- What moments in my life have fulfilled me + felt meaningful?
- When do I feel most like myself
- In the times I've felt down, what has been missing?
My core values are:
Honesty
Open communication
Accountability + Responsibility
Money mindset compatibility
Sense of adventure / curiosity
**Combat perfectionism
Ask yourself:
What do I wish others would see in me?
What do I wish I had a gentle teacher for?
Looking inward, we notice that we are not perfect either.
And that some things take time to uncover.
And that this may be the buried treasure you've yet to discover in the other.
**I'm curious, what's your nu 1 core value? Comment below.👇🏽
UNEXPECTED LOVE MAGNET: BOUNDARIES
We think we're going to lose someone when we say no, that's not ok.
Instead, those worth keeping grow more curious about us. And respect our edges.
We become more powerful in ourselves as we trust ourselves more.
And that powerful sense of knowing is VERY sexy for someone who knows his or her own power as well.
This other person knows that they come to someone who can hold themselves and protect themselves.
And so they are free to love you. Without having to save you. And if they too know their boundaries, have a strong sense of self-respect + love for themselves, they won't expect you to save them either.
HOW TO CREATE + MAINTAIN YOUR (new + sexy) BOUNDARIES
1. Know your desires + values in Relationship – get crystal clear – make a list
Include emotional, physical, mental + spiritual aspects
This is your line in the sand
2. Learn how to say NO - firmly + from your heart
When you are grounded and speak your NO clearly, then your YES becomes clearer as well. (Thank you @Sue Sutherland)
3. Be ok with whatever happens
Know that the trust + respect you demonstrate for yourself is what makes you YOU.
Love yourself knowing that being there for yourself is a great act of self-love.
And anyone who doesn't respect your boundaries, who doesn't first seek to respect you and then understand you, is probably someone you don't want around.
What better filter than this for discerning who's right / wrong for you!!
We all get to a point in our lives when things feel too heavy to bear. When our breath draws short and our minds feel unable to navigate the twists and turns of all that is happening within and outside of us.
I teach a quick simple practice taken from mindfulness that allows all of the above to happen, but also creates some space and within that space some peace even as you hold, feel, and experience intense emotion.
Are you a ‘love junkie’? A tender hearted optimist who believes wholeheartedly in a starry-eyed kind of love that looks and feels like it does in the movies.
Or instead a ‘love cynic’? Convinced instead that NO one is the only ‘one’ you might ever know.
Shelby and I will discuss how to form a beautiful relationship full of love that lasts over time whilst knowing that nothing is ever perfect - junkies and cynics both this is for you.