If you want to have good sex – to give pleasure and receive it – you need to communicate both your own wants, needs, and desires to your partner, and to ask them what works for them as well.
The myth that someone should just be able to ‘feel into you’ and if they can hit all your spots, they must be ‘the right one’ needs to die.
Are the stories you tell about your experiences in dating and relationships empowering? Or do they limit you. Stories are our lifeblood as humans. Through stories we recount how things are and have been. And then use these stories, this information to form guidelines for predicting – and thus creating – our future. Learn how to create the future that you want to live in love by writing a new story for yourself. And about the recent findings in neuroscience that back it all up. For real.
If you know anything about attachment theory which offers great insight into how we love, then you’ll know that people with the Avoidant style of attachment are not emotionally available.
In fact, these so-called ‘Avoidants’ avoid emotional closeness like the plague – hence the name. And if you want an intimate relationship where you feel deep connection with the person you are with, you might want to be aware of whether he’s up for it or not.
Every time you meet a guy who’s perfectly nice, you just don’t feel it. He’s just too nice.
If this is you, you might be keeping yourself from creating a healthy relationship – one that is not only sexy, exciting and alive – but also stands the test of time. Here’s what might be going on.
And what to do instead.
Now more than ever, men and women are coming to me looking to find Love with a capital ‘L’. Love that lights them on fire. Love that is long-term, healthy, and exciting.
And this means that now is a time when more people are open to meeting their person. Which means more possibility for you to connect with another in a deeply meaningful way.
Learn how to overcome fear and resistance so you can enjoy dating and love in the age of Covid.
3 stages to getting better dates faster with great women online.
In any good, healthy conversation there is balance.
The quality of the exchange is based on each person’s ability to both
share authentically and meaningfully
and feel seen and heard
It’s a 50/50 balance that’s established from the first few messages with someone.
Here’s how to establish and maintain this balance
So that you can go from right swipe to first and then second date more quickly and easily than before.
And actually enjoy the flow.
Ok so I’ll admit it, whilst I’m not a huge proponent of online dating I did meet my current partner on Tinder.
And for many others in long-distance relationships, cultivating a new relationship over the digi-sphere is nothing new.
So whilst I encourage people to meet in person quite quickly after they meet online, this strategy has shifted considering the environment that we live in.
And since we don’t really know how long we’ll be living in partial or full lockdown, I wanted to prepare you for whatever comes.
Here’s how to date in the era of Corvid-19
Katie shares how she drew love in by learning how to love men – and herself.
Wisdom comes in so many forms.
This time it’s shaped in the form of Katie Phillips, transformational coach, self-love expert + author.
Katie is incredible to learn from. One of the best in fact, as she’s internalised now embodies what she’s experienced in love and relationships – the challenges that life has offered her.
WHEN ARE YOU ASKING FOR TOO MUCH FROM SOMEONE IN ❤
**Core values are fundamental
Don't let them slide! Rather, soften around them.
To determine what your core values in relationship are ask yourself:
- What moments in my life have fulfilled me + felt meaningful?
- When do I feel most like myself
- In the times I've felt down, what has been missing?
My core values are:
Honesty
Open communication
Accountability + Responsibility
Money mindset compatibility
Sense of adventure / curiosity
**Combat perfectionism
Ask yourself:
What do I wish others would see in me?
What do I wish I had a gentle teacher for?
Looking inward, we notice that we are not perfect either.
And that some things take time to uncover.
And that this may be the buried treasure you've yet to discover in the other.
**I'm curious, what's your nu 1 core value? Comment below.👇🏽
UNEXPECTED LOVE MAGNET: BOUNDARIES
We think we're going to lose someone when we say no, that's not ok.
Instead, those worth keeping grow more curious about us. And respect our edges.
We become more powerful in ourselves as we trust ourselves more.
And that powerful sense of knowing is VERY sexy for someone who knows his or her own power as well.
This other person knows that they come to someone who can hold themselves and protect themselves.
And so they are free to love you. Without having to save you. And if they too know their boundaries, have a strong sense of self-respect + love for themselves, they won't expect you to save them either.
HOW TO CREATE + MAINTAIN YOUR (new + sexy) BOUNDARIES
1. Know your desires + values in Relationship – get crystal clear – make a list
Include emotional, physical, mental + spiritual aspects
This is your line in the sand
2. Learn how to say NO - firmly + from your heart
When you are grounded and speak your NO clearly, then your YES becomes clearer as well. (Thank you @Sue Sutherland)
3. Be ok with whatever happens
Know that the trust + respect you demonstrate for yourself is what makes you YOU.
Love yourself knowing that being there for yourself is a great act of self-love.
And anyone who doesn't respect your boundaries, who doesn't first seek to respect you and then understand you, is probably someone you don't want around.
What better filter than this for discerning who's right / wrong for you!!
