If you want to have good sex – to give pleasure and receive it – you need to communicate both your own wants, needs, and desires to your partner, and to ask them what works for them as well.
The myth that someone should just be able to ‘feel into you’ and if they can hit all your spots, they must be ‘the right one’ needs to die.
Now more than ever, men and women are coming to me looking to find Love with a capital ‘L’. Love that lights them on fire. Love that is long-term, healthy, and exciting.
And this means that now is a time when more people are open to meeting their person. Which means more possibility for you to connect with another in a deeply meaningful way.
Learn how to overcome fear and resistance so you can enjoy dating and love in the age of Covid.
My relationship with my partner is deeper than I could have ever imagined, and only continues to blossom. Looking back and remembering previous tensions I held in my relationship reminds me of how far I’ve come.
In therapy I continued to repeat the same story over and over again. Yet the bodywork broke me free, and unlocked things I didn’t know needed unlocking. I’ve been able to find the answers within myself.
Ok so I’ll admit it, whilst I’m not a huge proponent of online dating I did meet my current partner on Tinder.
And for many others in long-distance relationships, cultivating a new relationship over the digi-sphere is nothing new.
So whilst I encourage people to meet in person quite quickly after they meet online, this strategy has shifted considering the environment that we live in.
And since we don’t really know how long we’ll be living in partial or full lockdown, I wanted to prepare you for whatever comes.
Here’s how to date in the era of Corvid-19
You might be easily aware of your emotions, thoughts, and behaviours on a surface level, and may even experience some level of insight into them, but it’s when you feel them in your body on a very deep level, that you can shift swiftly, directly and permanently whatever it is that is blocking you.
And be free to live the life – and love – that is meant for you.
When it comes to accessing your pleasure, all it takes is a shedding. A shedding of that which blocks you from feeling pleasure fully – or at all.
Over the years, battle with the world, past relationships, rejections, sexual confusion, negative messaging from society and culture around sex and our sexiness is collected in our bodies.
We build up a kind of protective shield like body armour to batten up our defences – and to stop us from feeling the yuck of all of that.
Problem is, it also closes us off to the good stuff – the nuanced experience of exquisite sensuality – and from the experience of orgasm.
So we end up feeling nothing at all in sex (with ourselves or with others).
Or intense physical pain and discomfort during sex – exactly the opposite of what we hope to experience!
Good news is, you can learn to unlock your body and shed the armour you’ve built up. Peel off the layers. Feel sensations of pleasure and connection with ourselves and our partners.
Here are 3 ways to start the process of de-armouring your body:
Breathe into the parts of you that are stuck or numb or in pain. Imagine that the breath softens these places in you, relaxes them, and that you are breathing in space into your body.
Give voice to whatever you are feeling. Allow whatever sounds that want to emerge to come out. With no judgement on what or how it’s sounding. It’s all welcome.
Reinforce a sense of safety and love in your body by reminding yourself that you are in fact safe (as long as this is true and you are physically and emotionally in a safe place.
Remind yourself that it is safe to feel. Safe to cry. Safe to be vulnerable. Safe to express whatever is there even if it doesn’t look or feel nice.
And love yourself for going there.
Feel into your heart as you repeat to yourself – You are safe. You are loved. I love you.
Remember that this is a journey that takes time. Every body is different. Every timeline is different.
Know that whatever you experience, wherever you are with this, is exactly right.
You are perfect.
